Breaking Matthew Read online

  “I understand that, but it’s killing me not knowing if Samuel’s all right. I think about him every day, and I pray for him every night. I just want to make sure—”

  “Ruby, if someone sees you and connects Samuel to Chester’s death, then you’ve as good as sealed his hanging. Not to mention your own. You can’t be that foolish.”

  My pride flared, even as I knew he was right. “Fine! If you don’t want to take me, then I’ll just find my own way. I’m sure I can borrow Asa’s truck or Uncle Roy’s.”

  “You’ll do no such thing.”

  “I’m not one of your servants you can order around, Matthew Doyle.”

  He walked several paces away from me before turning back. “Look, I ain’t trying to start a fight with you, and I ain’t ordering you around. Lord knows you’re going to do whatever you set your mind to. But I’ve never known you to put Samuel and Hannah’s safety in jeopardy. I’m just asking you to consider this idea carefully before you run headlong into the fire.”

  He was right. I knew it in my head. But it drove me mad to have to face it. “All right,” I said, my voice cracking. “I won’t go. I just can’t stop worrying about them.”

  He came back to me, putting a gentle hand on my shoulder. “Aren’t you the one with all the faith?” he said. “Don’t you know your scriptures?” His head tilted slightly, a grin spreading across his face. “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

  I closed my eyes and breathed in the peace God had sent through Matthew’s words. God was Hannah’s provider, just as much as He was mine. I had to trust Him to take care of them, and do what I knew had to be done in the meantime.

  I opened my eyes to find Matthew still smiling at me. “Thank you,” I said. His hand was still on my shoulder, and I reached up to take it in mine. “Once again, you’re the voice of reason when I seem to forget all my common sense.”

  He let out a quiet chuckle and rubbed his thumb against the back of my hand. “Who would’ve ever suspected such a crazy thing as Ruby Graves listening to me? What’s gotten into you?”

  I couldn’t name what had gotten into me, but I sure could feel it coursing through me. Lord, please set my head right. Take my thoughts off Matthew and set them back on You.

  I dropped his hand and took a step back. “I have a lot of work to get done today, and I reckon you do too. I’ll see you for dinner.”

  I could tell my sudden distance confused him. “Did I say something wrong?” he asked.

  “No. I just have a lot on my mind. I need to keep busy.” I’d nearly reached the back porch steps.

  “Ruby, if it’ll make you feel better, I could drive out and check on Hannah and Samuel.”

  Everything in me wanted to fly into his arms. “You’d do that for me?”

  “Of course. I know it’s got to be hard on you. Maybe you could write a note or something, and I could give it to Hannah.”

  I was pretty sure my delight was plain to see. “I’d be so grateful. Really, I would. But…” My enthusiasm died with the realization that Matthew could be in as much danger as I was. How selfish it would be to ask this of him. “I can’t let you risk your safety for me like that. If something happened to you…”

  We gazed at each other for a long moment, long enough to stoke my hope once again. But there was something else. I was beginning to see that he didn’t look on me like he used to, like I was a little girl needing protection. There was something more behind his eyes, a yearning that looked much like mine. Could he possibly feel the same as I did?

  He cleared his throat and broke the spell, looking toward the trees where Asa had disappeared several minutes ago. “I reckon I ought to get to work. But I mean it; if you want me to, I’ll head out there this evening and find out if they’re all right.”

  I shook my head. “No, you’re probably right. Best to keep them both as far away from this mess as possible. No sense in risking their safety just to appease my mind.”

  “All right, then,” he said. “I’ll see you for dinner.”

  He took the ax from the wood block and slung it onto his shoulder, walking toward the tree line. I couldn’t keep myself from watching him for a while. Seemed like every step he took, my heart thundered. What if he did love me in return? I could wind up spending the rest of my life in prison, without him. Then what?

  There was nothing else for it. I’d have to continue keeping my emotions in check until the trial concluded and I knew exactly what I’d be facing. There just wasn’t any room for What Ifs.

  As I hung the wet laundry on the line later that afternoon, I did my best to keep my mind off my worries for Samuel, but it just wasn’t any use. One terrible scene after another played out in my thoughts, and I asked God over and over to give me peace. But peace didn’t come.

  I went over every detail of what I remembered of the day Chester died. The only thing I could think of that pointed to Samuel was the knife. And no one else knew it even existed except Matthew. I felt certain I could deny ever having seen it before. But what if someone else figured it out? What if the solicitor had found someone who’d seen Samuel come out of the barn? Surely the sheriff would’ve questioned me about it if that were the case.

  While my mind spun round and round the possible outcomes, I heard the motor of a truck coming down the dirt road. It was coming pretty fast, so I figured it was my uncles. They’d taken off just after breakfast. No one asked them where they were going, and they didn’t offer any explanations.

  I secured the last sheet to the line and walked around the corner of the house. Sure enough, Uncle Roy’s truck slid to a stop in front of the barn amid a cloud of dust. A few seconds later, Franklin came stomping out of the barn, pointing his finger at them and yelling things I couldn’t make out. But I could tell it was something to do with them leaving him behind. I still hadn’t seen him up close, but I could tell he was quite a bit younger than the others. He might not have even been in his thirties yet.

  From what I could tell, Roy stopped to listen for a moment before he dismissed Franklin with a wave of his hand. Then Eddie must have teased him, ’cause Franklin flew into a fit of swearing. Eddie laughed and disappeared into the barn. Roy yelled at both of them to shut up. That part I could hear clear as day.

  Franklin huffed around in the dust, making his way toward the back of Asa’s house. When he reached the fence that encircled the pasture, he kicked the bottom rail right hard. It shuddered, vibrating for several feet in both directions. He turned around and leaned against the fence, finally noticing me.

  “Sorry about the ruckus,” he said. “I’m just a little restless.”

  I walked over to the fence with a little apprehension. There was a wildness in his blue eyes that set my nerves to attention. He had a cut over his left eyebrow, and a busted lip that was on the mend, but still swollen. I reckon I was staring, ’cause he grinned a little and pointed to his lip.

  “Got this from Roy when he heard the law was after me. I got a little careless.”

  I held up my hand. “I don’t…I mean, Mother would be upset—”

  “Oh, of course. I mean, I didn’t do nothing bad. It’s not like I killed someone or something.” His mouth clamped shut, and heat spread up my face. Franklin’s eyes widened. “Oh no! I didn’t mean nothing by that. I mean…what you done…now that was something. I’m right proud we’re related, to tell the honest truth.”

  I couldn’t help but smile at him, which seemed to ease his discomfort. “You’re Franklin, right? The baby of the family?”

  He smiled and tipped his hat. “The one and only.”

  “So how come you don’t come up to the house?”

  “Oh that,” he said in a flat voice. “Roy dragged me out here under the notion we needed to help keep the family safe—which I’m all for—but then he goes an
d tells me I got to stay in the barn out of sight the whole time. I might as well have stayed in our place down in the caverns. At least there, I could’ve had something to drink now and then.”

  He turned around and leaned his elbows onto the top rail and looked out over the fields. “I don’t mean nothing against you or Lizzy,” he continued. “Just feel like I’m trapped here waiting on something to happen. Makes me feel crazy inside. Like I got ants all over me or something.”

  “I feel that way too,” I said. “Like I’m just waiting for something to happen. I’m trapped here until the trial starts, and then what? I might be heading off to prison for the rest of my life.”

  “Naw, that ain’t gonna happen. Roy and Eddie know how to deal with things like this. They can get you somewhere safe, where the law won’t find ya.”

  “Oh no, I couldn’t do that. Just take off running. That just doesn’t seem right. Besides, if it’s God’s will for me to go to prison, then that’s where I’ll go. Many of the saints in the Bible went to prison for periods of time. If it was bearable for them, it’ll be bearable for me.”

  Franklin was looking at me like I’d gone bat crazy. “You really believe all that nonsense?”

  “Of course. Don’t you believe in God?”

  “Well, of course I believe in God,” he said. “I just don’t think He’s interested in my life is all. And I can’t imagine He’d send a nice young girl like yourself off to prison. What’s more, I can’t believe you’d be so calm about it.”

  I leaned onto the rail next to him and took in the faint orange and pink streaks forming above us as the sun dipped low. How many more sunsets would I get to see? “I wouldn’t exactly say I’m calm.”

  He turned to me with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Say, you wanna get out of here for a bit? Maybe go for a ride?”

  My first thought was to jump at the chance to get away, even for just a little while. But I could hear Matthew in my head blessing me out for even thinking about it. Still, if Franklin was with me, I’d be all right. He knew how to protect himself.

  “Won’t Roy be upset with you?” I asked.

  “I don’t care one little bit if he’s upset with me.”

  “Where would we go?”

  He grinned. “Where do you want to go?”

  Franklin drove fast, making my stomach lurch a few times around curves. It wasn’t as bad once we hit 69 going south. The road was a bit smoother then. But my stomach still wouldn’t settle, especially once we made it through Bremen. The closer we got to Colony, the faster my heart raced.

  “What’re you after in Arkadelphia?” Franklin asked. “I happen to know there ain’t nothing interesting to do there.”

  I gripped my hands together in my lap and prayed he wouldn’t turn the truck around. “I only meant we needed to head toward Arkadelphia. I don’t want to actually go there. We’ll need to make a few turns before we get that far.”

  He raised an eyebrow and looked at me like I was amusing. “Whoo, Ruby got a secret boyfriend or something? And here I thought you were sweet on that boy staying at the house!”

  “No, it’s not that. I just have a friend I need to check on, that’s all.”

  “A friend, huh? All right. If you say so.”

  “Take this turn up ahead,” I said.

  “Nah, you don’t mean that one. That’s the road that goes to Colony.”

  I rubbed my palm with my thumb. “That’s the road I mean to take.”

  He took his foot off the gas, and we started slowing down. Then he pushed on the brake and brought us to a halt on the side of the road. “You want to say that again? I think I misunderstood.”

  “I aim to go to Colony tonight to check on a friend.”

  “That’s what I thought you said.” He shook his head. “Are you nuts? There’s only two reasons white folks go to Colony—liquor or…well…anyhow, neither of ’em are reasons you should be mixed up in.”

  I wasn’t about to get this close and not see Samuel and Hannah. “That’s about the most ignorant thing I’ve ever heard. Colony is a perfectly fine little town. Did you know they have their own gin? Their own stores? A school? They have everything! And they’re just as normal as you and me.”

  “You done lost all your marbles.”

  “Well, if you won’t drive me, I reckon I can walk the rest of the way.”

  “Walk?” He threw his head back and laughed. “You must be nuts. You can’t walk. It’s nearly dark. What do you think one of them Negroes is gonna do to you if they catch you walking all by yourself? The only ones out after dark are the ones looking for trouble.”

  “Look, I’ve been out here plenty of times. I know my way around.”

  “Oh, you do?”

  “Yes, I do. I come here to visit my friend Hannah almost twice a month. We’ve been friends for years. And I intend to visit with her. Now you can either drive me over to her house, or you can explain to my mother why you let me walk all along these back roads—”

  “All right!” He furrowed his brow at me. “I’ll drive you where you want to go, and I’ll wait in the truck for ya. But we go straight there, and then straight back to your mother’s house. Ya hear?”

  I nodded.

  Franklin put the truck back in gear and made the turn I’d indicated. We rode in silence, with only my directions and the growing tension filling the air. The trees hid the last bit of sun from the road, making it hard to see, even with the lights on. I pointed to the dirt road Hannah lived on. “Take that left.”

  Franklin stopped, but didn’t make the turn. “You sure about this?”

  “Definitely.”

  “Ruby, I think we best turn around and go back home.”

  “You turn this truck around, and I’ll jump out. I once jumped on and off a moving train to get where I needed to go. You think I’m scared of a little old truck?”

  He turned wide eyes to me. “You really are as crazy as people say.”

  “What people? Who says I’m crazy?”

  He just shook his head and made the turn. “I’ll give you ten minutes. That’s it. Then I’m out of here. I mean it.”

  “Fine. The house is up here on the right. You can pull around on the other side of that bush so the truck isn’t easy to see. That’s what I usually do.”

  He pulled to a stop where I’d pointed. “Ten minutes. You hear?”

  I jumped out of the truck and ignored his reminder. What was he going to do? Drive back to Mother and admit he’d left me here? I’d take whatever time I needed.

  Crossing the yard, I climbed the steps to the front door, taking care to keep my footsteps light. When I knocked quietly, I heard feet shuffling. I didn’t want to frighten Hannah, so I figured it was best to let her know who was at her door.

  “Hannah,” I said, leaning as close to the door as I could. “It’s me, Ruby. Come let me in.”

  There was more shuffling, and then the door cracked open. Hannah peered out at me, and I was reminded of how she’d looked at me when we first met, like I was a bobcat that might suddenly jump her.

  “Ruby Graves, have you lost yo mind?” she whispered. “Why you bringing trouble to my doorstep?”

  “Hannah, please let me in, just for a minute. I had to see you.”

  The door swung back, and I half expected to see the broken, beaten down woman I’d found in the shack on Mr. Calhoun’s property all those years ago. I was grateful to see she was unharmed.

  She quickly closed the door behind me and grabbed me by the elbow. “Now, I don’t know what you hope to accomplish here, but if you done changed yo mind about telling those folks about Samuel—”

  “No!” I said. “Oh, Hannah. No, I would never do that to Samuel.” I threw my arms around her neck, unable to hold back my tears. “I’m so sorry. I won’t stay long. I don’t want to cause you any trouble. I just…I had to know if he’s all right.”

  Her body softened, and she hugged me in return. After a few moments, she pulled my shoulders back. “He
done packed up and went off to my sister’s place in Georgia. But he told me everything about how you was there for him and tried to help him.”

  Relief flooded over me, and I sank into the nearby chair at the kitchen table. “Praise the Lord. I was hoping you had some relatives he could go to.”

  Hannah took the seat across from me, and I got my first good look at her. She looked like she was barely keeping it together. Her eyes had dark circles under them, and her thin hands shook as she reached across the table to pat mine.

  “I can’t…Miss Ruby…there just ain’t any words to express…”

  “Please don’t fret over it. I’ll be all right. God is my provider, my comforter, my healer. He’ll keep me in the palm of His hand.”

  She brought her hand back to her forehead. “I don’t know how you keep your faith so strong in something like this.” Then she grinned. “’Course, I am talking to the same girl that ran right at a tornado.”

  “Now, look. I did no such thing. I ran away from the tornado, and I was trying to get to you.”

  “I know.” Her eyes filled with grateful tears. “You always run to me in the middle of the storm. I reckon you’re our guardian angel.” Water spilled down her cheeks. “But I fear this storm so much more than the tornado.”

  God’s words in Isaiah flooded my heart, and I shared them with Hannah as they came.

  “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

  “Behold, all they that were incensed against thee shall be ashamed and confounded: they shall be as nothing; and they that strive with thee shall perish.

  “So you see,” I concluded. “We have nothing to fear. God is with us. He’s with Samuel. All is well.”

  The drive back to Asa and Mother’s wasn’t nearly as exciting as leaving had been. Franklin didn’t smile at all. In fact, he didn’t say one word the whole time. I was just so relieved Samuel was out of harm’s way, I figured I could face the wrath I knew was waiting on me.

  “Thank you,” I said as we pulled off 69 and neared the last turn of our journey.